dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
