I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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