Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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