there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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