I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Shame is for Republicans.
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