She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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