At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
