I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
