is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
