Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
