shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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