Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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