I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
