i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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