I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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