drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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