look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
