OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
