I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
