I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
that may or may not have been my penis.
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