i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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