I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
