jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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