u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
