I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
