i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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