none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
