I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
