I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
