put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
