i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
