i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
