dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
