its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
