so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
