At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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