google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
