She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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