You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
