it's not cheating when I paid for it
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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