there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
