If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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