well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
