It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize