My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
