I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?