I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
