Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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