Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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