Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
