Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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