I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I think my fart just growled at me.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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