let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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