I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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