I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
