I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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