I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
