PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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