Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
third nipple confirmed
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
