Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
