So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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